Saturday, December 30, 2006

Pop Quiz

I just updated my profile. The first person to correctly identify what I changed gets to be poster of the day!

*edit* Charlie wins!

And she emerges, victorious

Tell me that didn't just happen.

Did you really think that I would go down that easily?

Did you expect me to give up?

Did you try to catch me at a moment of weakness?

Did you think I didn't learn from our last encounter?

Look at me when I'm talking to you, house!

Sure I'm not the best plumber. I admit that the last time you messed with me I ended up with a $1200 bill. My bad. But I've grown since then, house. I thought you would have learned that.

How long have we been together- 5 years now? And you still have to pull this little shit on me at the most inopportune times. First it was the shower. You thought it was pretty damn funny to spring a leak and cause the ceiling to cave in when I was in Australia. Ok fine, we all got a little laugh out of that one. And then you had to take it one step too far. The hot water heater was just over the line. That really just pissed me right off. I know you realized it too. Tried to be nice to me for awhile. And now you have to pull this passive aggressive bullcrap again.

An hour before I was supposed to have my training buddies over you strike. Very funny. Water all over the kitchen floor. Good one.

Did you think I would actually just call a plumber?

Did you think that I would be above going to Home Depot after a 3 hour workout without a shower?

Did you think that your ass backwards 1930's plumbing, when nothing in the world was standardized, was going to hold me back?

Puuulease. You should know me by now.

I beat you this time, house.

I hope you learned your lesson you little smartass

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A change of pace

It's time for me to write my thesis. So for the next month I'm going to go back and publish my journals from my trip to Melbourne. Tri-related because I did my first triathlon there (race report to come). They should be entertaining. I'll wait until the end to publish my Papua New Guinea Journal It's a long one. Let me know if you like em!

First journal: 2/21/04




Well, I have one week under my belt here in Melbourne. I feel like I’ve learned about 25 new languages and/or dialects since leaving the states. I’m starting to think that every English speaking country finds the need to screw up the language in their own quirky way in order to be trendy. In PNG I was introduced to Scottish English. So these people have deemed it trendy to ignore any and all T’s that are in the middle of words. Whose screwed up idea was that? Here I have realized that the letter of choice for Australians is R. Not only do they not pronounce their R’s, they pretend not to understand you if you do. I was on the tram Thursday because I was trying to hunt down a cheap bicycle. I was looking for a Kmart and asked the girl next to me what stop I should take. She was an asian girl, and based on the look she gave me when I asked where the K-mart was I knew she must not be from around here. So I asked again more slowly and with an even worse Wisconsin accent (why do I do that?). Still nothing. A couple seconds later a lightbulb went on for her, and she said “Oh, K-maaat?” I guess I’m going to have to conform if I want to find my way around here. Now, I’m not trying to put down everyone else’s take on the English language. I take full responsibility for having the least attractive accent on God’s green earth, but at least I make an attempt not to neglect any crucial consonants.
So besides learning all about the Australian accent, I had a very productive week. I made more friends since Sunday than I made in 2.5 years in Ohio. Unfortunately, they’re all female. But they are a very spunky group and besides my friend Janine, they are all single and looking. Here's a pic:



One of the more free-spirited girls is having a party on Thursday. Apparently she met a couple of fire fighters last weekend at the beach (while wearing a skimpy pink bikini). She made plans to meet up with them Thursday, but last night decided that 2 men wasn’t quite enough. So she met 2 more guys last night at the bar and invited them along. So now the rule is that every girl that attends the party has to bring a random single man. It’s a “random people party”. I now have 4 days to find my random person and I’m beginning to sweat it a little. I’m going to end up with the nose-picking pervert I just know it.
When I got back from PNG I was amazed that I made it through the trip without any major bouts of travelers illness. I hadn’t thought I would need to watch out in Australia. Last night the girls and I went to the Moonlight Cinema. It is basically a huge blow-up screen that they set up in the middle of Melbourne’s beautiful botanical gardens. The movie was Lost in Translation last night and moviegoers bring tons of food and wine to the show and it’s quite a lovely way to spend an evening.I was introduced to bread and dip last night. Instead of eating chips and dip, they eat bread and dip here. The dips are more exotic here, though and you can buy about 25 different kinds at the Victoria Market down the road. We had 6 kinds last night and they were very good. Or at least it seemed, until I woke up at 2 am in a cold sweat. Needless to say, the dips apparently weren’t happy with accommodations in my digestive system and headed to the nearest exit. My morning run helped me to feel a little better, but my theory about the dips being the culprit was validated when one of my swimming partners bailed on me for our training session this afternoon. She had the dips last night, too.
While I’m already on the subject, let me explain a little bit about the toilets here in Australia. They apparently are very concerned with water conservation here (I’ve been meaning to point out that they live on a giant island, but I haven’t run into the proper authorities). The toilets, therefore have about 2 cups of water in them. These 2 cups of water are about 2 feet from your bottom. You may know where I’m going with this… So every once and awhile I feel the need to do the dreaded #2 at work (the cereals here have a lot of fiber). Now in the states you can usually slip one out without much of a stir. Not here. You would think you’re laying down an air to land cruise missile. By the time I’m through everyone on the floor knows my bowel habits and I’ve had a second shower for the day.
Okay, I’m done with the gross-out stuff for today. Another cool development since I’ve gotten here is that I’ve convinced two of the girls to do triathlons with me! The first one is a week from Wednesday and I can’t wait. We are starting out with the ultra sprint variety which is a 300m swim, 10k bike, and 3k run. I’m trying to convince them to move up to the sprint level (500-20-5), but they tell me they think I’ll die on the swim. They may be right, but they obviously don’t know me very well. Because now I have a challenge. I’m going to sign up for the sprint on Monday. I’d do it today, but I’ve found myself without internet access. I refuse to let the computer nazi’s touch my laptop. These crazy bastards (that’s bastaads in Australian), strip you of administrative rights to your own computer and remove all music files and software before they will give you network access. They would have to rip my computer out of my dead rigorous fingers before they would take my music away from me.
Well, what else happened this week… My experiments have worked so far. I’ve been sent here to make some genetic manipulations to P. falciparum in order to piece together the mechanisms of drug resistance. I’m getting my DNA ready right now and it is cooperating. The woman I am working with (Jenny) is really great. I couldn’t ask for a better person to train me here. I’m meeting her for lunch tomorrow on Lygon street (a mecca of restaurants- mostly Italian). Then tomorrow night I am going to a concert with Janine (I’m hoping to pick up my random person there). The plans for tonight include a lot of DVD watching in close proximity to a toilet, just in case any more varieties of dip from last night become unhappy with me. I have the weekend to myself because my roommate has gone to Sydney to visit relatives. Oh yeah, the roommate. I guess have to speak about her a little, huh?
So my roommate is Arlene. She is a pediatrician who is doing a fellowship in malaria research. She is about the most animated person I’ve ever met. I’m currently trying to figure out if Arlene is gay- not that there’s anything wrong with that! I’m just nosy. Here’s my evidence so far- First of all, she has a pretty short crew-cut like hair-do and a lot of piercings. Not very convincing evidence here… Secondly, at the conference in Lorne a girl, who was definitely gay took a pretty quick liking to her. This is still not very good evidence. However, the kicker was her behavior at the beach last week. Beach volleyball is very big here. There are about 30 nets on the beach in St. Kilda. The first thing I notice is the dozens of perfect specimens of the male sex. We’re talking tan, built, and beautiful men. Hubba, Hubba. Amidst this she makes a beeline for the women’s teams. And takes pictures. To me, that’s just crazy given the distractions of the other courts. You make the call…
Well, I have to go get my laundry out of the dryer. I think $4 per load is highway robbery, but I guess you have to pay a price if you’re going to waste their precious reserves of water…

Talk next week,
Jodi

Monday, December 25, 2006

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Cervelo Sponsorship letter

Dear Gerard,

You may not know me yet, but I'm writing to convince you that sponsoring me this year is a wonderful business opportunity. I am a 28 year old student and athlete from the triathlete Mecca that is Cleveland. Not only do I have a mountain of athletic potential, but I offer unique marketing opportunities.

Athletic Achievements:

Although 2006 was my first year doing triathlons I placed in my age group in several races. In at least one of those races I was competing against more than two people for the podium. The races were truly epic battles to the finish line. Just a look at my PRs will offer a glimpse into my talent. My half marathon PR of 1:52.52 is a showcase of my speed. I'm sure that I was right at the top of my age group because I was given a medal at the finish line. My blisteringly fast bike split at the Portage Lakes Olympic relays (ave. 19.7 mph) was enough to pull my relay team to a first place finish (sure, we were the only female relay, but that's clearly because we scared away the competition). But the leg that truly sets me apart is my swimming. Why would a bicycle manufacturer want to support a swimmer, you ask? The answer is simple... and genius. I will be competing in Ironman CdA in June. Let's say I get out of the water at 60 minutes. When I get on my Cervelo most of the field will be behind me. I guarantee that over the next 6 hours I will be passed by at least 1000 competitors. Adorn me with a DeSoto Trikini with a Cervelo logo and 700 men are sure to notice the bike I'm riding. The impact on your company will be huge. The plan doesn't end there, though. If you'd like, just for the benefit of your company, I will then take it easy on the run. I will make sure that I give the leaders plenty of time to go home and shower before making my grand appearance at the finish line. Extending my time on the course will give your company hours of additional exposure.

Although my current fitness is impressive, never underestimate the effects of sexual frustration on the athleic potential of a single 28 year old woman. I have an endless tank of energy to funnel into my triathlon training. There is no telling what the next 6 months will bring.

Marketing Potential:

I'm not sure if word has gotten out to you yet about my triathlon blog. I had at least 50 visitors this year. Don't worry, I have saved plenty of advertising space for your company. I guarantee that within 6 months of sponsoring me, all of my mom's friends will be cruising around their neighborhoods on Cervelo Cycles. I truly think that the female 60-64 age group is a jackpot of untapped revenue for your company.

Additionally, I think that I could be a model spokesperson for your company. First of all, as a 28 year old still in school I will preach the merits of higher education. I have truly mastered the art of avoiding the workforce. Why does that matter to your company, you ask? Well, have you ever seen people that have more time on their hands to train than graduate and medical students? It's a group that will be quickly drawn into the sport. Then, once they hit the coveted 30-40 year old demographic, their education will pay off and they will be putty in your hands with huge paychecks. I see a future of garages lined with Cervelo road and tri-bikes.

Finally, my experience in marketing makes me an ideal candidate for your company. I was among the top of my marketing class in high school in all of our roll playing assignments. And have you seen my skills in a group? Clearly you noticed me at the Slowtwitch Virtual Christmas party. Give me a mixer of Gatorade Endurance and Vodka and I'll mingle like a socialite pushing a clothing line. I am even willing to give up a week of my time next October to be flown out to help promote Cervelo at Kona next year. I'll bet not many athletes would be selfless enough to offer up their time like that!

In conclusion, I think that we could have a very profitable and mutually beneficial business partnership. Please feel free to contact me for any other information that you may need. Thanks you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Jodi Thomson

P.S. My bike size is 48 cm.

;-)

Merry Christmas everyone!

X-mas Vacation pics. Volume 1

My very best friends from High School: Margaret (left) and Angela (right)



Margaret and I:

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I Think I'm Gonna Hurl

Where were you guys when I needed you? All I needed was for someone to tell me to STEP AWAY FROM THE COOKIE DOUGH! But no. No one came to my rescue. Still no one was there for me when the cookies were done to tell me to STEP AWAY FROM THE COOKIES! Seriously, I thought you guys were my friends.

So I have really been trying to comment on everyone's blogs the past few days but blogger has not been kind. I switched to blogger beta a couple days ago, and have determined that it just might be the devil. I have typed up at least a dozen replies to people's blogs only to be told that I can't log in or that my password is incorrect. Ugh.

And for more random thoughts....

1. Swelling has gone down in my legs! And to offset the water weight that I have lost I have made sure to eat it's weight in chocolate and cookies. I feel like a fat tick. However, I have been warned by my coach that I had better enjoy this recovery week because she is going to make me wish I had never pronounced the word Ironman next week. 2 days with one workout, 4 days with 2 workouts, 1 day with 3 workouts. 12,000 yards in the pool, 3.5 hours of running, 5 hours of cycling, and strength training for good measure. I think the weight should come off nicely :)

2. Never, ever doubt your coach. I know from experience. Since I have been doing so much long slow running I was really starting to think that it was ruining my speed. I mean, how can you possibly run fast when you are stuck in training at 10:30 miles? I was getting very frustrated. When it came time to race and Angela wanted me to stay in my heart rate zones for the race I begged her to let me run it. I just needed to prove to myself that I could still run. One last hurrah before I resign myself back to 10 minute miles for the next 6 months. She was supportive of my request. Still I was convinced that I was going to run a 2:00 half. Which would have killed my spirits since I ran a 1:58 before I started my triathlon training. Well, she was right. I PRed by almost 6 minutes and felt absolutely fabulous the whole time. I will stop complaining about my slow running now. And I will listen to her without question. I mean, I do pay her good money for her expertise. I'd have to be a moron to ignore it!

3. Water Polo. Yeah baby! My master's team has started a water polo session on the weekends. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I was on the Wisconsin water polo team for a year. I loved it, but I was absolutely terrible. I'm so excited to have another team to play with to show off my mad skills.

That's all I've got for now. My head has been pounding for the past 6 hours now and I can't think straight. I think it's time for bed...