And.... I'm spent

Another 100 hour week in the books and I'm enjoying my one free afternoon. Learned a ton more stuff this week:

1. I need to think of more creative ways to say- I don't know... I'm not sure... I have no idea... I should know that, huh? I'm thinking of learning some Spanish. Or maybe German. I dunno, just to mix it up a bit in surgery.

2. Surgeons have to keep a cool head under pressure and not to let ANYTHING surprise them. Even if, say... you go to see a patient and his small intestines are sitting quietly in his lap. No biggie... we'll take care of that for you right away sir...

3. I am learning the distinct smells of various normal and infected bodily fluids. My favorite so far is a nasty, polymicrobial pancreatic pseudocyst . Good stuff.

4. Sleeping on a gurney in a dark room from 2-5am is my idea of living it up

5. Contrary to popular belief, I actually can function pretty well on 3 hours of sleep.

6. My messed up body gains weight on an all natural fruit and veggie rich diet, and loses weight while eating cookies and sorbet for dinner. Go figure.

7. Jeans and t-shirts feel oh so sexy after living for 2 weeks in baby puke green scrubs that are 2 sizes too big.

8. There's just nothing wrong with shaking your groove thing 3 hours into a long surgery.

9. Getting a pager...free. Having a pager that never goes off...priceless

10. I am slowly becoming master of my domain- putting in and taking out foley catheters, taking hair off people's bodies, running around the hospital to retrieve things, buying food and coffee for the team, retracting fat, cutting sutures... Maybe I'll have them all perfected by the time I leave to move onto my next rotation...

I was on call again last night. So today is my 14th day of work in a row, most of which have been >14 hours. I can't complain, though because I just love being there. But it was great to have an afternoon off. I went to Stone Oven bakery, drank coffee, ate lunch, went to Whole Foods, bought myself some flowers, mowed my lawn, and took Maddie to the park. I'm making myself baked Tilapia with broccoli and raspberries for dessert. Eating vegetables has become quite the rare luxury these days. And, uh... I'm going on day 12 of no exercise. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. Ah well. Life goes on, right?

The top ten things I learned in my first week back in med school....

1. Fruit punch Accelerade is not to be consumed during lecture when you are tired and wearing a white coat

2. One should always eat before going to observe or assist surgery. Not eating or drinking will result in morbid embarrassment and near loss of consciousness. But you can make one hell of a first impression...

3. A person actually can live off a steady diet of Cliff bars and sports drink

4. If you go to the hospital to get bowel surgery you have to prepare yourself to give a full detail of your flatulence to a large white-coated group of strangers every morning.

5. I'm pretty sure that I have forgotten more about medicine in the last 4 years than I learned in the first 2 years of med school. It's sad to realize the minutia that I worked so hard to cram into my brain has been replaced with useless knowledge of sports drink composition, aerodynamics, and overuse injuries.

6. Time flies when you're busy. Even a 29 hour shift.

7. Sleeping just 1.5 hours at 4:30am can make you feel like a million bucks. Really.

8. Despite feeling like a million bucks until 3pm, sleeping 1.5 hours will catch up to you and make you feel like a vegetable for the rest of the day

9. Wearing scrubs all day, although loose and unflattering, is a wonderful perk for the fashion retarded (like me)

10. It is really, really going to be hard to not go into surgery. The lifestyle sucks, but I love it. Every day is a new challenge, and most of the time you can actually fix a person's problems. What a concept!



Ok, time for me to get my lazy butt out of this house and get some fresh air. I'm not quite up for a ride (which is very sad since I haven't ridden since last Sunday), but I'm going to go make one labrador very happy by taking her to her favorite watering hole.

As a sidenote, congrats to all of those competing at IMUSA today! I've been watching some pretty awesome performances by the Cleveland mafia and can't wait to hear all about your races. A special note to my training buddy Jen who is in the middle of the marathon right now. Go Jen!

The elliptical machine...

humbled me this morning.

On my last morning of freedom I went to the gym to get a quick workout in. I started on the elliptical machine with arms (which I find harder than the EFX). So I start going and a couple really cool songs come on my Ipod (including Before He Cheats which is always a crowd pleaser). I decide it would be a good idea to go balls out on the thing- 8.5 mph with decent resistance. When I hit 33 minutes I thought I was going to drop dead of a heart attack. I had to stop, kneel down, and allow my heart rate to come back down below 200.

Elliptical, I will never doubt your anaerobic inducing capacity again. But I have to tell you, I am going to be one happy camper when I can run again.

One question for you folks...

How stupid would it be to take call Wednesday night so that I can ride with my Thursday night group? How much will I suffer if I work from Wed 5:30 am until Thursday at noon, then go get my butt kicked by Sherman hill after a quick nap? Discuss...

I'll update later this week with the top 10 ways I made a fool of myself during the first week back to med school. It will be hard to choose just ten....

Now that was my kind of ride!

This is how I recommend everyone ride after their Ironman:

Ride 6 miles to your friend's house. Chat it up. Leave after 15 minutes

Meet the rest of the group 15 miles later. Say hi and do the greetings.

Ride 28 miles easy. Enjoy the scenery.

Eat a monster breakfast of a cheesy garden omelette, toast, and fruit

Ride 18 miles home.

The only hitch, is that the 18 miles home is done on a very full stomach and requires an extended climb out of the valley. Well, I'm not the best digester of cheese, so this hilly stretch had me thinking:



Well, it's time to get my butt organized. I have a very long week ahead of me...

Life as I know it is about to end

Score one more for the future doctor...

As part of the "welcome back to medical school" week, the sadists that are the med-school higher-ups decided it would be fun to have us take a 230 question exam that covers everything that we are GOING to learn this year (not that we already know, that would be too practical). So according to my scatter-brain, the exam was at 12:30. Colleen confirmed that the meeting time was 12:30 and it started at 1:00. No problem.

So I go super early, meander up to the test rooms at 12:15 and see the rooms full of people taking the test.

Did I mention this is going to be a very long year?

Um, yeah. The test started at 12:00. And of COURSE my computer speaker was on full blast so I announced my late presence to everyone with the last names S-Z.

I think this was the gist of it:

Hello, my name is Jodi. If you're lucky, I'll be on a clinical rotation with you, and relieve you of the stress of being that girl.

Ugh.

But I have a good excuse for being scatterbrained. An evening of AMAZING cycling and even BETTER wine last night... and a 4:45 am wake up call to go swimming!

Went out with my faithful Ironman cycling buddies, and had such a fun 40 miler. It was rolling terrain, and there were a couple people out that were weaker cyclists than me (that never happens). So we would ride for 5 miles or so and then wait and regroup. And you know what? I was able to stay with the front pack almost the whole time! The rests really helped to recuperate, but it felt so great to go FAST and short. I am loving this no training thing.

We stuck around for burgers and wine afterwards and let me tell you something... I used to think that I liked wine. But I have NEVER had wine of the caliber that I've had at Lanny's. Wow. I have been inspired to go on cycling tours of France and Italy and California! Any takers?

Then it was an early wake-up for masters. Got the pleasure of swimming in piss water today. Felt like a freaking hot tub by the jets. That's always a joy. But at least the set was fun. Not quite the same without Lanny, since he is out of commission since the Epic ride with a shoulder injury. Lets all keep our fingers crossed that it won't require surgery!!!

And one more thing...

I've been using a google site traffic monitor. One cool thing about the program is that you can map how people find your site. 13 people found my blog by searching google for Jonnyo . Why was this, you ask? Well, because Jonny earned the title of Canadian Long Course Triathlon CHAMPION last week. Yay Jonny!

Adventures in Medical School

Day 1

Organizational stuff. No patient contact, minimal doctor contact, mostly OSHA training. So I show up in capri pants, flip flops, and a T-shirt.

One of these things is not like the other...

I was in a sea of ties and skirts. Oh, boy. Here we go

The only mildly entertaining thing was watching the horrified discomfort of guy-who-cheated-on-me-who-will-from-now-on-be-referred-to-as- smuggy , as he had to share a roof with me for 4 hours. Unfortunately, before I realized how entertaining this could be, I arranged for us never to have to share a city block during the next 2 years. It pays to be on good terms with the registrar...

Day 2

I put on a super duper cute outfit, nice shoes, super cute sleeveless top to show up to the simulation center. Half the people are wearing shorts. Can I win here?

Delivered a baby out of a mannequin (I'm sure it's just like the real thing), did some rectal exams on different mannequins (putting prostates in the pregnant ones just wouldn't be right), then went to visit with my old lab.

Training- oops- exercise note for this day- went to gym, did 45 minutes on random cardio machines, 1 hour doing weights. Yes, weights! I'm toning up, people. Watch out!

Day 3

Went to SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!!

It was freaking glorious. I haven't swam well rested in months! It renewed my love of swimming in a big way. Put in 4100 yards without caring about distance. Just glide, glide, glide. Had a fun group of guys in the lane. 2 more days of swimming before surgery starts...

Then school. I dressed middle of the road today. Learned how to suture a fake arm and tie knots in a quilt. Doesn't this just make everyone feel so good knowing how well prepared us med students are when we jump in to the hospital? (Don't worry, we don't get to do much)

And now I'm laid out, dead tired on my couch. Well, after going to Office Max twice to get an external hard drive, try to install said hard drive, take back hard drive, buy new hard drive. And now, I have less than 98% of my C drive full! I'm hoping this will make my computer a bit faster....

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of Adventures in Medical School

An Open Letter to My Dog, Maddie

Dear Maddie,

We have been together for what... 5 years now? I still remember picking you up and saving you from your 10 crazy brothers and sisters when you were 6 weeks old (thanks for not peeing on me on the way home, by the way. That showed a lot of class). Well, I think it's time we sat down and had a little chat.

I admit that there were times that I wasn't the best Mom in the world. So maybe when you were a puppy I messed with you a little bit. Took away your toys, messed with your ears, put my hands in your mouth, pulled your tail. And ok, maybe I tied your back legs together with your collar a couple times and made you hop around like a bunny for a few seconds. But I told you it was because I needed you to get used to the unpredictable since you were going to be around kids and babies. And you have to admit that nothing the little nieces and nephews do to you surprises you now, does it?

Ok, so maybe I also left you to spend 5 months with grandma and grandpa when you were young because I had to go out of the country. In that time you were horribly abused, I'm sure. Made to eat leftover ice cream and popcorn. Forced to go on long walks, and snuggle on the couch. For that, I am sorry. I will try not to do it again. I don't think either of us wants to go through the running and diet that was required to get you to lose the 15 pounds you put on in that time anyway.

Overall, however, I think we've developed a pretty good relationship. You put up with my long hours, I put up with your coffee ground addiction and weekly trash binge. You put up with me sitting on the trainer, I deal with your temper tantrums. You let me sleep in, as long as you can jump in my bed at 7am. Even though airplane tickets are cheaper than driving these days, I always drive to grandma and grandpa's so that you can join me and hang out with your Milwaukee friends (Murphy, Ellie, Bailey, and Zoe). I even drive the whole way with one hand so that you have a human "arm rest" to lay your head on. And I also let you hang your head out the window at 75 miles per hour because I know how much you love it.

You always get fed and walked twice a day. We go to the park regularly. I offer to take you on runs with me. Once a year, I take you to your favorite place, the vet, where everyone gushes over how sweet you are. So I'm good to you, no?

In response you've been a pretty good girl. Haven't had an accident in the house since you were 8 weeks old, you don't bite, you play well with the kids in the neighborhood, come when you're called, yada yada.

But Maddie-Bear, there is just one thing that has to stop

It's about the underwear. I know that you enjoy it, but you have to stop eating the crotch out of my panties. How many have you ruined now? 50, 75, 100? Do you realize the financial implications of your habit? And it's not like they are just sitting out (well, ok- sometimes they are). You actually knock open the door with your kung-fu doggie kick and ravage my hamper. Right when I think you're over your addiction and I stop the daily routine of slamming and reslamming my door to get it to latch right, it happens again. And seriously, how do you know which ones are my favorites? Can't you just take the granny panties for a change?

Really, if you can just stop this one little behavior, we will be totally cool. But now with med-school starting, I'm just going to be too busy to be running to the mall to buy replacement undies. So please, have some mercy. Go in roommate Matt's room instead.