Another med school rotation has come and gone and I still am not decided on what I want to do when I grow up. One thing that is interesting is to watch the congregations of personality types in each of the specialties and try to figure out where you fit. Here is what I have come up with so far...
The Surgery Residents- The cowboys of the hospital. They swoosh in with their teams, backs straight, (over) filled with a confidence. They realize that the rest of the hospital is at their mercy since they are among a very small group of specialties that can actually cure patients. They are sure the rest of the hospital is full of idiots. They live for the OR.
Surgery Residents Biggest Fear: Having to talk to patients
Extra-curricular activities enjoyed by the surgeons: Extra-marital affairs with nurses and medical students. Learning new ways to function without sleep.
Internal Medicine Residents- A vast majority of the internal medicine residents are on their way to medicine sub-specialties, so hard to generalize. They are an academic bunch, but slowly getting beat down by the hours and paperwork
Internal medicine resident's biggest fear: Their pagers
Extra-curricular activities: fantasizing about the surgeons enduring public humiliation, like tripping and falling in the hallway.
OB/GYN residents: They are the hardest working women in the hospital. And they never show signs of fatigue. At any moment in their 100 hour weeks they could be pulled away for a photo shoot. Advice for med students: Don't F*&% with an OB/GYN resident.
Biggest Fear: None
Extracurricular Activities: Eating their young
Male OB/GYN residents: Sado-masochists
Emergency Medicine Residents: The cool kids. They're on defined shifts, work their butts off, and then go out for beers. Live for trauma
Biggest Fears: psych patients, pushy trauma surgeons
Extracurricular Activities: Whatever they want. They are among the few in medicine that can actually schedule a life
Neurologists: Very smart. Love to figure out why people with brain injuries are totally screwed. Can offer limited therapies. Overheard by me during my rotations: "Cool, I love coma patients"
Biggest Fears: Consults from the psych ward
Extracurricular activities: Looking at MRI scans, writing manuscripts
Psychiatrists: The most patient people born on this planet. Dry sense of humor. Spend most of their life teetering on the edge of sanity themselves
Biggest Fears: Patients with medical problems. Sharp flying objects
Extracurricular activities: Watching and analyzing movies
Pediatricians: The nicest people in the hospital. Love to teach. Can be found on the floors at 3am giving med-students lectures on asthma and congenital neuromuscular disorders. People feel dirty using 4 letter words in front of them.
Biggest fears: Parents
Extracurricular activities: making their own babies
Orthopedic surgery residents:
I'll let The Todd take this one:
I need to figure out where I will fit...
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