Friday, February 08, 2008

The Stereotype Game

Another med school rotation has come and gone and I still am not decided on what I want to do when I grow up. One thing that is interesting is to watch the congregations of personality types in each of the specialties and try to figure out where you fit. Here is what I have come up with so far...

The Surgery Residents- The cowboys of the hospital. They swoosh in with their teams, backs straight, (over) filled with a confidence. They realize that the rest of the hospital is at their mercy since they are among a very small group of specialties that can actually cure patients. They are sure the rest of the hospital is full of idiots. They live for the OR.

Surgery Residents Biggest Fear: Having to talk to patients

Extra-curricular activities enjoyed by the surgeons: Extra-marital affairs with nurses and medical students. Learning new ways to function without sleep.

Internal Medicine Residents- A vast majority of the internal medicine residents are on their way to medicine sub-specialties, so hard to generalize. They are an academic bunch, but slowly getting beat down by the hours and paperwork

Internal medicine resident's biggest fear: Their pagers

Extra-curricular activities: fantasizing about the surgeons enduring public humiliation, like tripping and falling in the hallway.

OB/GYN residents: They are the hardest working women in the hospital. And they never show signs of fatigue. At any moment in their 100 hour weeks they could be pulled away for a photo shoot. Advice for med students: Don't F*&% with an OB/GYN resident.

Biggest Fear: None

Extracurricular Activities: Eating their young

Male OB/GYN residents: Sado-masochists

Emergency Medicine Residents: The cool kids. They're on defined shifts, work their butts off, and then go out for beers. Live for trauma

Biggest Fears: psych patients, pushy trauma surgeons

Extracurricular Activities: Whatever they want. They are among the few in medicine that can actually schedule a life

Neurologists: Very smart. Love to figure out why people with brain injuries are totally screwed. Can offer limited therapies. Overheard by me during my rotations: "Cool, I love coma patients"

Biggest Fears: Consults from the psych ward

Extracurricular activities: Looking at MRI scans, writing manuscripts

Psychiatrists: The most patient people born on this planet. Dry sense of humor. Spend most of their life teetering on the edge of sanity themselves

Biggest Fears: Patients with medical problems. Sharp flying objects

Extracurricular activities: Watching and analyzing movies

Pediatricians: The nicest people in the hospital. Love to teach. Can be found on the floors at 3am giving med-students lectures on asthma and congenital neuromuscular disorders. People feel dirty using 4 letter words in front of them.

Biggest fears: Parents

Extracurricular activities: making their own babies

Orthopedic surgery residents:

I'll let The Todd take this one:

I need to figure out where I will fit...


Judy said...

Okay - the easy answer is the department with *that* guy!! LOL!! Or maybe the one that lets you TRAIN MORE and work less!! I LOVE what you write about the departments. You have one of the best blogs and are always so entertaining. Keep us posted on your choice!!

B Bop said...

That is hilarious!!

I think you fit in with Todd, don't you? Judy Agrees. I mean, he is wearing a speedo. Aren't you familiar with that?

Vic said...

OMG - thanks for the laugh. You know you blog will now be making the rounds in the local med community.

DaisyDuc said...

OK let me pick myself up off the floor after watching Todd. The white in his shorts area killed me!

Hmmm....well seems obvious where you don't fit. You are a cool kid that may like a life and beers!

IronMatron said...

So funny! My dad is a surgeon, and even at 67, he still fits that stereotype exactly!!!
I say ER. That sounds the coolest. And you need a set schedule so you can TRAIN!

Steve Stenzel said...

Is it bad if I want to spoof that video?!?

I hear you about wanting to figure out what to do. My wife didn't really know, so she settled on Pharmacy. She loves it now!

JenC said...

I'm sure whatever you pick will be perfect for you, because you won't make the choice without complete and thorough analysis. The ER gig does sound cool though for someone who wants to help, but also wants a life. Good luck!

Great to see you last night!

erichollins said...

That is a poor job of acting by the guy that plays The Todd. If he really and truly was in character, he wouldn't have those hideous tan lines.

erichollins said...

"I mean, he is wearing a speedo."

The proper term is "banana hammock". Geez, haven't you ever watched Scrubs?

Matt said...

Funny,I've got some friends in the exact same position that you're in. They're trying to weigh out lifestyle vs. income right now. Give a little, take a little. Best of luck.

khai said...

You forgot Radiology residents, who cower in fear, desperately trying to impress their self-important assholes of a supervising Radiologist while at the same time, honing their own set of "I'm the king of prick-world" ideologies.

Radiologists, being one of the two groups who actually make money for the hospital (along with surgeons) are used to having their asses kissed and being thought of as [at least financial] gods within the American Healthcare system.

I am a radiologist. Kneel before me or I will throw a hissy fit!

Donald said...

Totally funny. Just wait until you have to deal with hospital administrators - they're just as dysfunctional as the med staff!

Love the clip.

Ange said...

You nailed it. Those descriptions are perfect. I have some doc friends and relatives and you are right on.
Love reading your post Jodi!!
I am amazed by all that you do.

Chad in the Arizona Desert said...

I think you have amassed enough education and training now that you should...

Ditch the stethscope, fly to Cabo, get a job mixing drinks for overpaid doctors on vacation who tip heavy to look at your tan legs and spend the rest of your time swimming, biking and running on the beach in the sun. I lived 80 miles from Cleveland for 25 years so I know that has to sound appealing. Just a thought...

Patricio said...

LOL too funny.
Awesome blog :)

The Cruise Director said...

Judging by your posts and sense of humor, no matter what you choose you will have a great bedside manner.

qcmier said...

Might I give a plug for Rad Onc...

RawTriGirl said...

TOO HILARIOUS! I work in a local ER (social worker) and the descriptions are priceless..... What would you say about neurosurgeons? Let me tell ya, a whole class of their own! Besides the ER, there's a lot of clinic type stuff you could do that would still give you a decent schedule.