Monday, January 12, 2009

An Open Letter to the Genius Sidebar of iTunes

I want to preface this letter by saying how much I truly appreciate the service that you provide. At first when you magically showed up when I opened iTunes I was suspicious. Who are YOU to be telling ME what kind of music I should check out?? But I soon became a believer. At the touch of a button, and with the input of just one song, you have repeatedly blended together a mix of songs that I couldn't have mixed any better myself. It's like you are able to crawl inside my brain to figure out exactly what I want to hear. In the airport and about to explode because yet another flight is cancelled? "Here", you say, "listen to this mix of Norah Jones, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, and Ben Harper, it should sooth your nerves". Magic!

However, Genius, I can't let what happened this morning slide. As good as you have been to me this year, I will not let you mock me. Sure, I am dreadfully out of shape. I get it. But I really counted on you to take my choice of "It Began in Afrika" by the Chemical Brothers and turn it into a mix that would get me through 90 minutes on that trainer with 50 minutes of intervals. At first, I thought it was going to be yet another song mix of perfection. Aphex Twin, Kings of Convenience, Moby, Boards of Canada... Right-O, Genius! But then you had to go and do the unthinkable. In the middle of my hardest interval, when I was at a moment of pure, sweaty desperation, you did it. I still can't believe the nerve. I mean, I do appreciate you teaching me that I can persevere in the face of adversity, but really, that is not your job. At first when it came on I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I thought- this must be a different mix of this song. She is totally going to bust out her dance moves and give me a new side of the genre. But no, Genius. You actually put the Country Ballad "How Do I Live?" by Leann Rimes smack dab in the middle of my techno workout mix. Although I probably did need a reminder to thin my iTunes collection, this was totally over the line.

I expect an apology. Until I see that this mockery has come to an end, I will be proofreading your work. I am happy to sit down and discuss this at length if you so choose.




Chad Sayban said...

I have not yet had the guts to press that button on iTunes to see what it would come up with. With my divergent tastes in music, it could get really ugly in a hurry.

And you are right, a country song - much less a country ballad - has no place in a techno workout mix. A bigtime downer.

triguyjt said...

stick to your guns jodi!!!!

ADC said...

I actually may try that. Am slightly worried about the music I'll get though..

Shannon said...

Country thrown in with Chemical Brothers......sounds blasphemous!

I love when Itunes knows just what I like. :)

Big ass sitter said...

Oh the horror .of it all. 2 minutes of torture during your fun workout . Life is just not fair!

Bob Almighty said...

Fight the man!

Steve Stenzel said...

HA HA! I hear ya! I think the person who invented the "you bought this, you might like this" function on Amazon should be RICH!!