I want to preface this letter by saying how much I truly appreciate the service that you provide. At first when you magically showed up when I opened iTunes I was suspicious. Who are YOU to be telling ME what kind of music I should check out?? But I soon became a believer. At the touch of a button, and with the input of just one song, you have repeatedly blended together a mix of songs that I couldn't have mixed any better myself. It's like you are able to crawl inside my brain to figure out exactly what I want to hear. In the airport and about to explode because yet another flight is cancelled? "Here", you say, "listen to this mix of Norah Jones, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, and Ben Harper, it should sooth your nerves". Magic!
However, Genius, I can't let what happened this morning slide. As good as you have been to me this year, I will not let you mock me. Sure, I am dreadfully out of shape. I get it. But I really counted on you to take my choice of "It Began in Afrika" by the Chemical Brothers and turn it into a mix that would get me through 90 minutes on that trainer with 50 minutes of intervals. At first, I thought it was going to be yet another song mix of perfection. Aphex Twin, Kings of Convenience, Moby, Boards of Canada... Right-O, Genius! But then you had to go and do the unthinkable. In the middle of my hardest interval, when I was at a moment of pure, sweaty desperation, you did it. I still can't believe the nerve. I mean, I do appreciate you teaching me that I can persevere in the face of adversity, but really, that is not your job. At first when it came on I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I thought- this must be a different mix of this song. She is totally going to bust out her dance moves and give me a new side of the genre. But no, Genius. You actually put the Country Ballad "How Do I Live?" by Leann Rimes smack dab in the middle of my techno workout mix. Although I probably did need a reminder to thin my iTunes collection, this was totally over the line.
I expect an apology. Until I see that this mockery has come to an end, I will be proofreading your work. I am happy to sit down and discuss this at length if you so choose.
A Few Good Swims
2 days ago