So, I haven't been blogging for a few reasons. First of all, I've been super duper busy. But I've also been stressed beyond belief. I always try to refrain from posting when I get really down on myself and negative. I told that to Paulo and he said- why, because you're afraid people will see you're human?
So here is a little paragraph to let the blogger world in on a little secret- I'm human and I get really stressed, and really negative, and really emotional.
The past 2 weeks I've been a mess. The combination of hitting my peak Ironman training weeks during my thesis writing and defending has put my emotions more out of whack than they have EVER been. The first thing that set me off in a big way was my knee. It has not been getting better. I had my first long run since the fall scheduled for 2 weeks ago. Paulo was in town and he agreed to do my 90 minute run with me... and he also forced me to stop at 50 minutes because I was in pain (Thanks for talking sense into me!). I was so upset that I just absolutely lost it and burst into tears right on the towpath in front of dozens of strangers. It was the realization that there was something really wrong with my knee and I was likely going to run the Ironman marathon as my next long run, with my longest run ever at 14 miles. (I still think that's true, by the way, but more on that later)
Then for the remainder of last week I had a breakdown at least once per day, with my worst day being Thursday. I spent the entire day on the verge of tears and at least 2 hours of the day in tears. The final straw was me going out shopping for an outfit to wear during my defense and not finding ANYTHING after hitting a dozen stores. Yup, I lost it because I couldn't find something to wear.
Then my parents came into town and they had an absolutely calming effect on me. They got in at 8:15pm and I dragged my Mom to Anne Taylor Loft and made her pick out an outfit. As always, she knows exactly how to make me laugh. As an example, the next day as we are driving to my defense she says-
Mom- Your body lotion is weird. That Sweet Pea stuff- it takes a long time to rub into your skin
Me- You mean the shower gel?
Mom- Hmmm... I guess that would explain it
I was in tears for the first time on Friday when I went for one last bathroom break before my seminar. But they were tears of laughter. My mom got her hands and arms wet and they foamed up like crazy. You had to be there, but it was a good thing that we had already used the bathroom because I think we would have both peed ourselves we were laughing so hard!
Defense went well. There were so many people there! I felt really special and it was just a really positive experience with lots of hugs and support. It's really nice to have it over, though
I love my parents! They spent the weekend fixing my yard and cleaning my basement and doing my laundry while I was out doing biking and stressing and doing my post 120 mile bike ride coma.
Know who else I love? My roommates. They both got off work to come watch my defense and they bought me the nicest gifts with thoughtful cards. I couldn't ask for more wonderful people to make my house feel like a home. And no 2 people can make me laugh as easily as Matt and Colleen. I have SO needed it lately!
Some more tid bits... some of which is probably TMI for the blogger world
1. 2 weeks ago I had to have an abscess cut open. If I could choose a place to have an large infection, lets just say this would be one of the last places. Lets leave it at this- it was where a large proportion of my weight is when I'm in the aero position on my bike. Exactly 3 days after I had minor surgery on my crotch I did a 2 hour trainer ride. Exactly 5 days later I rode 100 miles. Lets just say, after what I've been through the past few months, Ironman will be a dream.
2. My knee has been X-rayed. The results were unremarkable. No break seen. However, I am still about 90% positive that I have a small hairline fracture of my patella. All my symptoms are totally consistent with it. My runs from here on out will be on the elliptical trainer. Aqua running is out because the main pain is upon extending my knee and the added resistance of the water is too painful. Thankfully, you don't have to extend at the knee to bike!
3. In the past 3 weeks I have ridden 125 miles, 100 miles, and 116 miles on my Saturdays.
4. The morning after my defense I overslept, screwed up my nutrition, but still managed to really enjoy a 116 mile ride with Jen. The company was great and we managed to do 12,400 feet of climbing and I saw 15 deer in the first 2 hours of the ride. Holy smokes!
5. I went to watch the Cleveland Marathon today and cheer on some buddies. DaisyDuc BQ'ed and I cheered my roommate Colleen into her first half in sub 2 hours! What a day!
Colleen after the race:
DaisyDuc at mile 11
6. Tomorrow I start my clinical refresher. Tomorrow and Tuesday I get to watch babies being born. It is really going to make it hard to get my training in. I have to find a time to swim on my own since I have to be at the hospital by 6:50. Sigh... and I thought this would get so much easier after my defense!
I'm sure there's much more to say, but I have to get some sleep. Hopefully it won't be 2 weeks before I catch up with ya'll again!
A Few Good Swims
2 days ago