Where's my pot of gold?

Another happy place picture to start this post. Today I need it.

I've had the kind of week that makes me want to find a hole to crawl into and never come out. Yeah, it's been that good. I saw one of our patients die and I got dumped within the course of 12 hours. Slept 5 hours in 2 nights. Got dehydrated and bonked on my run. The 8 hours of tears probably didn't help my fluid status at all. Went to get a prescription filled and found out I've been dropped from insurance coverage (don't ask me why). And I get to spend the rest of the day by myself. Well, that's probably for the better at this point.

If the saying "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is accurate then consider me SuperWoman.

So it's time for some emotional rebuilding again. It's allright, I can certainly use it, and it will be great for my training (like that really matters in the grand scheme of things). I just have to keep telling myself that no matter how many people give up on me, I'll never give up on myself. Keep plugging ahead.

I digress. My training was stalled Thursday and Friday. I did nothing. So today I picked my butt off the floor and decided to get a good day in. Went to spinning at 10am. Well, I got there at 9:15 because I wanted to make sure I got a bike. Did some stretching and spun easy until the instructor came in.

The class was good. I really like spinning because you can cater it to your own ability. I had a moderately hard workout, but wanted to save something for my long run.

12pm. Left for my long run. It was blazing hot and sunny. My goal was 9 miles.

I went out and ran until I told myself "I'm not in Kansas anymore" aka City of Cleveland. That is when I started to get thirsty- mile 4. At mile 5 I noticed that my heart rate was creeping up. At mile 6 I had complete breakdown. My emotions started getting the better of me, I went from a little thirsty to completely dehydrated, and I almost passed out. I walked for a full 5 minutes and wasn't able to get my heart rate below 165. I was 2 miles from my house. I stopped 2 more times to walk, but just told myself I had to keep moving, one foot in front of the other. I let the music carry me. Not the best choices of music. A lot of depressing stuff, but it was stuff I could relate to today and I made it home.

Drank 40 ounces of Gatorade Endurance in 5 minutes. Now I'm feeling better. Well, physically.

Stats: 8.00 miles
calories: 1463 (yeah right)
Total time 1:22:23
Total ascent: 2273 feet
Splits
Mile 1 9:44 Avg heart rate 171
Mile 2 9:46 Avg heart rate 176
Mile 3 9:43 Avg heart rate 180
Mile 4 10:02 Avg heart rate 181
Mile 5 10:21 Avg heart rate 187 (meltdown coming)
Mile 6 10:13 Avg heart rate 191 (total and complete brain and engine failure)
mile 7 10:52 Avg heart rate 183
Mile 8 11:35 Avg heart rate 181

So tonight I am going to try to get some sleep. I'm exhausted.