Wednesday, September 13, 2006

What Scares Me

This week has really been a great learning experience.

Why?

IMMoo was the first Ironman in the US since the dream became real for me. I have been scouring the internet for race reports of the coldest and harshest IM ever. Some of my favorites so far:

TriSaratops of course. She has the most amazing way with words. I feel like I'm living the race with her.

Turkey from Slowtwitch had a great, excellently written report

IronWill has an amazing story going of a heartbreaking DNF. She is taking it in such graceful stride, though. I am in awe.

Kar-ming has some interesting things to say about hypothermia and diuresis

Chivalry has another wonderful report that I came across on Slowtwitch. And whose picture did I see on his page? Sara! The girl is a friggin celebrity! :)

So reading all of these grueling reports of fabulous people who have put their lives on hold for a year to train for something they never thought possible really started to get me nervous.

So what am I nervous about?

Am I worried that my IM will be wrought with the terrible weather that the MOOers had to battle?

No

Am I worried that I won't be able to finish

No, not yet.

Am I worried that training is going to be too hard?

Nope

What worries me most is the Monday after my IM.

Reading these reports makes me afraid of the hole that will be in my life on June 25, 2007. I will train for 9 months day in and day out. I will put my heart and soul into my bike, onto my legs, and through the water. I'll live and sleep nutrition, strategy, and training periodization. I will form bonds with my training buddies that I never thought possible because we are all in this huge monumental battle together.

And then on June 25th it will be over.

July 1st I will start my first day on the wards in my training to become a doctor. My life will officially change, as I start 5 years of intense medical training, 60-80 hours per week. Will I ever get to exercise? Will I ever see my friends? Will my tri-life that I have grown to love and cherish just disappear in a puff of smoke?

That is what scares me.

7 comments:

TriSaraTops said...

You won't...you will be an Ironman, and it is something no one can ever take away, and you'll have a big goofy grin on your face all day...and you'll make time for it somehow, because it will be who you are as much as sleeping, and eating, and breathing.

Wes said...

You will adapt. You will overcome. You will achieve balance. You will not stress over things that happen to you. You will stress over things that happen because of you. How you achieve all that balance is entirely a personal decision, and we will support you! Especially if I can get some free medical care ;-)

qcmier said...

I understand what you are going through as I am trying to fill my post IM void. Yes I had the similar fears and am working through that, but never, ever let that thought enter your mind on race day. Stay in the moment and savor what you can on June 24, 2007 and on June 25th celebrate the fact that you are an Ironman.

Chris said...

You know, post Ironman depression is actually a fairly common thing and it's been written about in a few places. I mean, our bodies are used to moving around quite a bit and being full of endorphins and then taking that all away from us suddenly in the weeks following IM is rough.

But like Sara said, knowing that you finished an Ironman is such a HUGE sense of accomplishment. Like her, I can help but walking around smiling and basking in what was an incredibly great day. Yeah, the world goes on and going back to work sucks but I'll never forget 9/10/06!

Don't let the the thoughts of "what happens after" get you down. Have fun during your training and live the in the moment of the race while you're there. It's something that you'll always remember!

trifrog said...

Seek out folks who have had to take on huge responsibilities like a new job or infant to care for and see how they do it. I doubt you will become a slug just because your busy. You'll just become more aware of what's important to spend your time on and this is important to you.

I used to lift weights with a resident and we would joke that I was getting paid more per hour than he was. I was a nurse assistant, but he was working 3x as many hours. I did long runs with another physician. The point is that they had to scale back because of their schedule, but not to the point that something important like their fitness got left out.

Better yet, don't even think about those things or seek those people out until June 25. Until then, enjoy the journey!

Papa Louie said...

I would be terrified also. I guess take life one day at a time. And remember to enjoy life!

Anonymous said...

don't worry re: your new changes as a soon to be medical professional. if tris are something you love, you'll find time. it definitely won't be easy but it's doable. i started triathlons during my intership in chicago and have been able to train and race every year since '97 despite subspecialty training in pulmonary, critical care and having two kids. it's definitely going to be an exciting time for you. be glad to talk to you more.

kar-ming